I was working at a VA hospital on an oncology unit and received a transfer from the "back wards". My patient had lived at the VA for 15 years and barely spoke. Little was known about him, except for a history of alcoholism. He was found to have advanced lung cancer and needed radiation therapy. Our VA didn't have radiation therapy so 5 days a week, I rode in an ambulance with him  to the nearby naval hospital. The first day he asked my age and mentioned that I could be his daughter. When I asked if he had a daughter he simply said "two" and stopped talking. Every day he would ask another question and I learned that he had 2 daughters close to my age who he hadn't seen in 20 years. Our conversations were always brief but I felt a sense of trust from him. One night when I was working the night shift he kept waking up from nightmares, I would go to his room and stay with him until he fell asleep. My coworker thought this was ridiculous and was upset with me for spending this time with him. The fourth time he woke up, I went to his room and he told me that he had been a bad father and wished he had the chance to tell his daughters thet he knew he had been wrong and had asked God for forgiveness. He died a few minutes later. The following week I was back on days and the same coworker answered the phone and announced that the family of my patient was on the line, and wanted to speak to anyone who might have been with him. She was positive they wanted to sue the VA now that he was dead. I spoke to his daughter who asked if had ever mentioned them and what he had said. I recounted our conversations and told her about his last night. She started crying and told me that he had sexually abused both daughters and never admitted that he was wrong. She said that now she could tell her children that their grandfather had good in him. They flew across the country to meet me and talk about their dad. I will never forget this patient, he always reminds me of why I became a nurse, and that you always need to take time for your patient's emotional and spiritual needs. I have now been a nurse for 38 years and still love my job.

- Kris, Willowbrook, IL

Scared and wondering if hope for cure is the direction to pray for, many patients and their families are confused and frightened in the critical care environment. They want to participate and do something for their family member that is sick but they don't know how and often cause alarms to ring and sometimes situations to arise that are harmful. Not intentional, they can become focused on the monitors and the hemodynamic readings. My job as a critical care nurse is to inform and assure the families and the patient that I will take care of all of the details. I will be alert to do things that need to be done and they can visit and support each other without feeling like they need to perform or get too technical and distracted from supporting one another. I also provide hope. Hope that we will manage the pain, manage the illness to the best of our abilities and support them physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. Being a nurse is having a caring ownership of our patient's needs, full of integrity and trust, we collaborate with the patient, family and physicians and all of the healthcare team. We innovate to solve challenges and we are the team captains while on our watch.

We also inspire new nurses to do the same, preceptor and train new nurses and remind everyone that we care about all of the details and each other.

- Cheri, Birmingham, AL

This is a story of true friendship and dedication; Buddy (a veteran ER nurse) was working the night shift in the ER when almost at the end of the shift, he started complaining of a severe headache and passed out. Work-up revealed he suffered a severe bleed which led him to be transfered to Dallas for brain surgery. He survived the surgery but ended up in a vegatative state. He stayed in a local nursing home and was frequently visited by family and friends. The one friend that really stood out is his good friend Mar (also a veteran ER nurse). During the course of his nursing home stay, Mar never missed a day visiting him and doing his range of motion and accompanying him for a couple of hours. Mar religiously alloted time for his dear friend (inspite of his busy schedule) until the last day of his one year stay at the nursing home. To me, the bond between these two good friends were beyond compare. Mar showed his true dedication and unconditional love to his friend up unitl his last days here on earth. It has been more than 8 or 9 years since Buddy passed away and I am sure proud to work with the man (Mar) who through his generosity and kindness made Buddy's life a little bit of heaven. May God rest his soul.
- Odessa, TX

The words, thoughts, and ideas expressed in these testimonials do not represent the thoughts and ideas of Spirit of Women or it employees or its affiliates.  Spirit of Women has provided a forum for consumers and healthcare providers to express their experiences, and stories related to their personal experiences.